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carly rae jepson - call me maybe
I’M DEAD SERIOUS THIS IS SO TERRIFYING I FEEL LIKE DYING
holy fuck, i had to stop this halfway through
omg i cried. literally tears. love! i really wasnt expecting that.
So, its been a while since I have sat down and properly documented my thoughts. It’s not something I do very often, for, by all appearances, I am a very open person. However, there are some things that I don’t really share with a lot of people. But, in the end, sometimes humanity needs a release. For some it is art, for some it is music. For me, it is writing. I have always found writing to be a true release. With the ability to elucidate feelings, or to confound them in deep sentimentality, language moves both writer and reader towards a goal not always seen until the last second. Thus is is with these musings in mind that I begin.
After the mess of my life the past year, I am finally starting to get everything back on track. From friends passing away, to the near shattering of my dreams, to almost losing my mother. It’s been a tough year for everyone. But overall, through the trauma, I genuinely believe I am a better person for it.
My re-application to the prestigious University of Glasgow has been accepted and, as of August, I shall once again be a student of literature. Not of English as I had hoped, but the Scottish Literature department have been amazing and have welcomed me with open hearts and with open books. This has been a worry of mine for the whole year as it has long been my dream to be a Teacher of English, and now it is again within my reach to attain it.
I would like to take a moment, perhaps in anticipation of repeating my actions that lead to my own academic destruction, to lay down in this “cri de couer” of sorts that my days of taking liberties, partying until the sun comes up, skipping classes for lunch, missing due dates to drink, are a thing of the past come the beginning of the academic year. No more shall I terrorise my house with my inability to go out for one. No more shall I read the synopsis of books on Wikipedia moments before my lectures begin. This time… In fact, this deserves to be produced in capital letters: THIS TIME WILL BE DIFFERENT.
As always, I seem to have ventured to subjects I only intended to touch upon, but now I shall reign myself in.
Since I have been accepted back to university, a sense of happiness that I have felt only a few times in my life has rooted itself inside me. To increase this feeling, my work have been amazing with it, and are happy to accommodate my studies thus, back to a “weekender” I go. Now, a lot of people might say, that’s a bit rubbish, working and studying, but, although I moan about it a lot, I do love my job. As a supervisor and a cash-office assistant, I know a lot about the company I work for and I find my job to be extremely easy. I should, considering I have worked in three stores over five years.
Anyway, I digress (again), my mother is recovering from her operations better that she ever has before and should be back to the Margaret everyone knows and loves in a matter of months. My brother has moved out into his own flat, which nobody saw happening as he is autistic and has severe anxiety issues. My best friend has found a job in the career that she has always wanted, and my boyfriend has been accepted into his college course unconditionally.
So, as I sit in here in my new room, surrounded by the things I love and pictures of the people I love, I feel content. Nothing more, nothing less. Content. What a word, and what a feeling. It has been a long time since I have felt able to use a word like it, and it is almost a thrill to write it down and feel it’s truth. Content. After a year of searching for myself, I have unearthed the answer to a mystery of eons.
What are we doing?
My dear friends, we are living…
